Don't dress as the man you are, dress as the man you want to be… or, more fittingly, don't dress for the women you've had, dress for the woman you want. You don't need to be clued into fashion at all to be stylish; in my opinion, fashion and style are two completely separate things. That being said, if you have your ear to the ground when it comes to trends, good for you! My only advice is to not go full on hype-beast when you're out with a potential hookup or out trying to hunt for one.
If you show up in some wild outfit, you're likely going to either come across as too into-yourself or as too difficult to approach. If you're dressed like you just rolled off the runway, you might be too intimidating. You want to be stylish and dress like yourself, but you also want to be approachable. So save your drop-crotch pants and your Yeezy esc outfit for after you've already banged the girl. Make sure you're yourself while dressed appropriately for the place you're at. If the event you're at calls for a crazy outfit — a la EDC or an event of the like — then that's okay.
However, if you're going to a more casual place or event — like a smaller music venue or a bar, for example, — then make sure you're toning it down. If you're not super into fashion, going over the top might not be something you're worried about at all.
That being said, it's always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed. There's no harm in wearing a button down out or throwing on a blazer if you're unsure about how formal you need to be on a night out.
If you're unsure, I recommend taking the formality one baby-step up from what you think is okay. Being slightly over-dressed will make you seem more adult and believe me, ladies like a guy who can rock some form-fitting slacks.
Have a designated power outfit for going out. Have an outfit in your closet that you know you look good in and feel like a badass in. This way if you don't know what to wear on any given night, you always have something ready to go that you know you're going to feel confident in. Facial hair for a man is either a thing of pride or a huge point of anxiety. There doesn't seem to be much in between. And because facial hair is on your face it's just as important — if not more so — than what you choose to wear.
If you're capable of growing a full-on mountain man beard then, by all means, go for it. Beards are sexy, but nasty beards are the absolute worst. There should be nothing in your beard other than some nice-smelling beard oil. Your face foliage should be completely free of crumbs and other debris that might find their way into your facial plumage.
To prevent your magnificent whiskers from becoming any less than well-groomed wash your beard, oil it, and keep it well trimmed. If you don't trust yourself around scissors, then find the best barbershop in town and make a regular customer out of yourself. And when you're out on dates, hanging with a regular hookup, or going out on the town, keep a comb in your pocket. This way you can keep any crumbs out of your beard and keep it looking bomb for the ladies.
Now, if there is any doubt that your facial hair actually connects or that it looks good… it's time to be honest with yourself. Don't try to attempt going full-on-brawny-man if your facial hair looks more like fuzz than forest. Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline.
Or just accept that you can't grow a beard and embrace the babyface. If you're expecting to bring a lady friend back to your place, the state of your apartment is going to be just as important as your state of dress — if not slightly more important. Similar to your outfit, your apartment is a direct reflection of you and whether or not you're an absolute mess. So if your apartment looks like a hurricane just passed through, you have some work to do my friend….
Does your apartment remotely resemble the aftermath of a frat party? Can you remember the last time you did dishes? How old is the food in your fridge? Are your sheets soaked in so much bodily-fluids that they're stiff? Dude, get your shit together. If you want to bring a girl back to your place, you shouldn't have to worry about losing her in a mountain of laundry or that stack of empty pizza boxes collapsing on her.
If you want to get laid and have her potentially coming back for more, you need to step up your cleaning game. Before having a girl over, or going out with the expectation of bringing a girl home, clean your fucking house.
Do your dishes, or at least hide them in the dishwasher — hell, why not run it while you're at it. Put your laundry away, or at least pile it in your closet and close the door. And change your sheets, or at least make your bed and spray it with some Fabreeze.
It doesn't matter how well you dress if your apartment is destroyed. You're going to look like a slob. And it's embarrassing to hook up with a total slob. While the term "bachelor pad" sounds sexy… homes of single guys are usually a little sad looking. So it might help to scroll through Pinterest — yes, I said it. I said Pinterest — and get some decorating ideas.
Obviously this isn't something you should be looking to do hours before a potential hookup opportunity, but taking some time to make your apartment look interesting and cool will help you in the long run. Find some interesting posters, and if you already have some, put them in frames. You'd be amazed how much of a difference a frame makes. You go from college bro to distinguished young professional in seconds.
Buy some candles that don't smell like a thousand flowers. There are some manly, sexy candle scents that you can find at Target or Urban Outfitters go for things with notes of tobacco and vanilla. Buy a throw-blanket, and a couple throw-pillows for your bed. Get an interesting coffee table book or something. You'll figure it out. This show will give you a good idea of what vibe to go for and make you feel emotions you haven't felt in years.
Okay, so I'm a firm believer in a guy owning some sex toys that aren't dedicated to solo male use. If you have a Fleshlight, that's a good start… but that's not going to help satisfy any lady. You should really invest in a nice external vibrator. You can use these to heighten your masturbatory efforts when you're on your own, but you can easily use them when hooking up with a girl.
Both of these are body safe, great quality, and easy to use with an unlubricated condom that's what you should use with sex toys.
And no, they aren't cheap. But you'll appreciate the investment in the long run you can get attachments for masturbating, they're totally worth it and so will any girl you hookup with. Just make sure you make it very clear to her that you are good about sterilizing the toy. Using a condom with it and having toy cleaner or one of these bad-boys handy, will allow both you and your lady friend to play with piece-of-mind knowing that your toys are nice and clean.
Having toys on hand, like vibrators, will leave the impression that you're interested in your partner's pleasure which is what every woman wants but seldom gets from a partner. When you're hoping that your night will end in a hookup, you should channel your inner boy scout and always be prepared. The last thing you want is for things to start escalating only to figure out that neither of you has a condom.
Here are a few things that you should always have on you when you're going out or hanging out with a potential hookup: When you're out, trying to woo a girl the last thing you want to do is have to worry about your breath. Quite frankly, you don't know what your evening is going to throw at you. Yes, you want to be hookup ready, but you also don't want to have to have to worry about what drunk-food and tequila are doing to your breath.
So, always keep a pack of gum on you. This way you can go about your night without worrying what your mouth might taste like later.
Plus, when you're talking close, and she catches a whiff of mint — instead of beer breath — she'll definitely want to kiss you. And when a guy suddenly smells fresh after a night out, you usually know that he's set on leaning in for that kiss. Always keep one of these in your pocket for later, because it might end up being just as important to your night as a condom. Women usually keep a hair tie around their wrist or in their purse.
However, they manage to disappear in situations when you need them the most. Hair ties seem to be the most elusive when you're getting ready to give a blowjob. Now I know that carrying one might not seem like your responsibility unless you're the kind of dude who's rocking a man bun. In that case you have a perfect excuse as to why you have one.
I wouldn't recommend wearing one around your wrist unless you have long flowing hair because having a hair tie around your wrist can be just as repelling as a wedding ring.
Girls might think that your hair tie belongs to a girlfriend and dodge you as if you were married. So keep the hair tie in your pocket.
And if she asks why say that you keep on in case you get lucky. If saying that makes you feel too cocky, then say it belongs to a platonic female friend, and you just so happened to have it on you. I don't think that a girl should be too concerned as to why you have one because it's not that uncommon for a guy to come across a hair tie in the wild.
In some fraternities, they keep hair ties on them in the hopes that they get laid or in case one of their brothers get lucky. If they ask, say that you picked up the habit in college! Okay, this should be really obvious. Obviously try to keep a condom on you if you're trying to get laid… duh.
But make sure to keep a few things in mind regarding condoms, like that they actually do expire. Yes, make sure you're paying attention to the expiration date on your trusty wallet condom. If it's past the date, throw it out and swap it for a new one. Speaking of wallet condoms… that's actually not the best place to put them. Your body heat and the friction from it being kept amongst credit cards will wear the condom down.
Try to keep the condom in a jacket pocket but not the same pocket as your keys! If it looks worn down or like it could have been punctured, toss it. The best place for condoms is in cool dark places.
So if you don't feel like carrying them, make sure to keep them bedside at the very least. Though it's always good to have one on you if you're going out, use your judgment. If it looks old and tossed-around, it's probably not going to protect you from anything. Lovability's condoms are probably my absolute favorite because they're packaged in a durable container so less chance of tearing , they don't smell like Autozone, and they're packaged right-side-up which is great for trembling hands.
This next item might not seem as obvious as the others. However, it's very important. I'm a huge proponent of lube. And while lube might not be as important as condoms when it comes to safety, lube is almost vital when it comes to the actual deed.
When you're doin' the do after a night out, you might have noticed that while it might be harder for you to perform it's also harder to just get it in to begin with. Whiskey dick is a catchy phrase, but sometimes women suffer from — for lack of a better phrase — whiskey vagina. Everyone knows that when you drink you get dehydrated, but what everyone might not know is that dehydration directly effects how wet a girl can get.
So if you're planning on drinking pre-hookup, it might be a good idea to keep some lube on you. You can buy little one use packets that you can easily slip in your front pocket.
Not your back pocket; that could be a disaster. If you plan on going back to yours, make sure to keep a bottle of lube in your bedside table along with all your condoms. And make sure you buy plain ol' lube. Don't buy anything that advertising a tingling sensation or that's flavored. Because "tingling" lube usually just straight up burns and flavored lube usually has glucose in it which makes it unsafe for putting it inside a vagina. When you're trying to get laid on any given night, you have to try.
Very seldom is a girl going to just fall into your lap and be willing to go home with you. So, you need to employ a few strategies when hunting for potential hookup prospects. As a dude, you're usually expected to be on the offensive when it comes to asking to hang out or hookup. Here are a few ways to do that: When it comes to texting, no one ever wants to be the one texting first.
Especially if you've been left on read or you were the last one to respond to a dying conversation. It takes some balls, but boy can it be worth it. If there's a girl in your phone who you've been flirting with or have hooked up in the past shoot her a text and hope for the best. Send something subtly flirty and be direct with what you want. But don't be too direct; no girl wants to get a text that says something like, "hey, we should have sex".
So be direct without being too candid, something like "Hey! What are you up to tonight? What are your plans for this weekend? I'd love to see you" gives off a flirty vibe without being too overtly sexual. Throw in a winky emoji or a smiley face for good measure. I know that texting first, especially double texting, can be a point of anxiety for most but if you want to get anywhere with a girl you're going to have to be okay with taking a risk. If you're nervous about what she might say send the text and then walk away from your phone.
This way you won't feel tempted to hover over your phone in anticipation. Though throwing your phone across your room will keep you from texting other potential hookups. So cast your net wide and send a couple flirty text to try to make plans, but instead of tossing your phone into an abyss put some girls you're particularly nervous about on do not disturb.
You'll be free to text other girls or scroll down Twitter without feeling too anxious about responses rolling in. Tinder, and other dating apps alike, are arguably the most reliable ways to find a hookup. Even if girls are looking for a longterm partner on a dating app, they're usually okay with fooling around in the process. With that being said, swipe right! Log on to your favorite dating up, spruce up your profile a little bit, and go for it! Swipe right on a ton of girls. Swipe right on any girl that you would be remotely interested in sleeping with because with dating apps you have to cast your net extremely wide.
Because let's be honest, you're not going to message have the girls and they're probably not going to message first. It's harder to message first when you don't know the person. They're going to feel less obligated to reply since they don't know you.
It's hard to establish that connection with a bad pickup line and a cheesy gif. Message a large number of your matches and see if anything sparks! Set a time to meet up at a bar or a party and see if anything catches fire in real life! Do you know a girl, but not well enough to have her number?
Do you and a girl habitually like each other's tweets, but never really talk? Maybe it's time to actually talk to your WCW. There is no harm in sliding into a girl's DMs. It's less nerve-wracking then messaging a girl you already know pretty well, and you're more likely to get a response than you are by hitting on Tinder girls.
Like one of her tweets or grams and then follow it up with a compliment in her DMs. Don't be afraid to be a little more flirty than you usually would be; girls get plenty of guys sliding into their DMs, you're going to definitely need to stick out from the pack if you want a response. If she responds, take that as a good sign and try to keep the conversation going.
If you can manage to keep a conversation going in her DMs, then try to transition the conversation from online to in person by asking her if she has plans or if you could buy her a drink sometime.
Now that you have initiated contact with a potential hookup, it's time to get your flirt on. If you want to get laid, you need to cultivate that connection with sincere compliments, well-timed jokes, and occasional subtly sexy innuendos.
A lot of guys are flirtatiously inept. However, a general rule of thumb is that if you're making her sincerely laugh, then you're probably doing a good job.
These steps that you need to somewhat nail if you want to nail her. Flirting isn't strictly limited to what you say and the vibes you give out. Flirting is highly physical as well. Your body language says just as much about what you want as your words do.
Make sure that when you're talking with your girl that you keep your body language open and inviting. If you're sitting down, point you knees and feet at her. If you're standing make sure to stand across from her or pivot your body toward her when talking in a group. Don't cross your arms or put something physical — like a backpack or briefcase — between the two of you; these are examples of closed body language and may give the impression that you're not into her.
Another thing you should do to make sure you're giving her all the right vibes is to touch her. And no I don't mean inappropriately hopefully that'll come later.
When you're hanging out — whether you be at a bar or in private — try to make 3 points of contact. A few examples include reaching out to brush her hair away from her face, touching her hand, touching her shoulder or looping your arm with hers while walking.
These points of contact should be affectionate without being overtly sexual, and purposeful. Accidentally brushing her hand with yours does not count. I'm a believer that for some alcohol is certainly liquid courage. But I'm also an active believer that for most too much alcohol is fuel for stupid decisions. That being said, I'm not totally against drinking when trying to hookup. Sometimes a beer or two, or three is what you need to build the courage to talk to that girl at the bar or finally ask her if she wants to "get out of here".
I am however against sloppy drunk hookups, especially when you're hooking up with someone for the first time. Odds are you probably don't know them very well, or if you do, you don't know them sexually at all. Knowing and trusting someone even if it's only a little bit is important even when you're looking for a fling. So stick to wine or beer if you can't trust yourself to go overboard on the liquor.
Make sure you order a glass of water in between drinks and actually drink it. Don't worry about looking like a square when watching how much you drink; you'll look mature, cool, and collected. The last thing you want to do is have one-too-many and completely ruin your chances with a girl.
Next to humor, confidence is paramount when it comes to closing. If you don't think you're capable of closing, you're probably not going to close. Feeling confident is something everyone has to work on.
It's a total fake-it-till-you-make it scenario. Even if you're insecure, you need to put on a front that you're somewhat confident. This is why grooming is so important in the hooking up equation; because even if you don't feel like the most confident man in the room, dressing well will help you get there. Plus, no well-groomed guy is going to look like they lack in self-esteem. However, there is a huge difference between acting confident and cocky.
For some, it's hard to toe that line. So when you're speaking, have a filter. Make sure that nothing coming out of your mouth sounds douchey and self-obsessed.
This is why it's important for a lot of guys to watch how much they're drinking; for a good amount of guys they become more cocky with each drink. Believe me; I understand that you want to get laid. I understand that if given the option, you'd probably want to get laid right here and right now. I understand how you might feel a sense of urgency, especially if you're in the midst of a particularly lengthy dry spell.
And sex is fun. But no what's not fun? Feeling like you're getting pressured into sex. This group was way more open-minded than I had expected them to be.
Or maybe they were just super excited to see the movie. My next question to the backlit faces opposite me was, "Have you ever used a person for sex and then stayed friends with them afterwards? People also randomly shouted stuff at me - marriage proposals, requests for my phone number.
One thing was certain in the melee, everyone there agreed that a friendship CAN survive after you've slept together but it really depends on the circumstances and whom it was with. When quizzed, both sexes established the fact that we girls are more likely to become clingy and let our emotions get in the way.
They also agreed that guys take advantage of those of us who are open to and filling a void with casual sex. The whole crowd concurred: Interestingly, when I polled the females in the room and asked which was more important - pursuing their careers or settling down - 90 percent said they were more focused on work, but agreed it was possible to "have it all.
The clique also collectively expressed that males should show their emotions more. Those in attendance with a penis all admitted they had their hearts broken at some point in their lives, which had affected their ability to commit again. The room burst out, "Awwww! They also wanted the ladies to know that they think it's attractive when we're self-sufficient and we don't need to rely on them. If you haven't seen "No Strings Attached" on the silver screen yet, you should. Normally I hate romantic comedies but the theme of this picture struck a chord.
Not to mention both Portman and Kutcher are really funny in it. Being the over-achieving alpha female that I am with no free time for intimacy, I identified with Portman's character, a busy doctor to-be in med school.
In the beginning of the flick Kutcher goes through a bad break-up and isn't looking for a hook up with hang-ups. These two end up having sex one night and the issue becomes, as best friends, can they be sex friends?
You have to see it to find out what happens in the end, but they do discover establishing ground rules helps. It's easier to maintain this type of an association when both parties are on the same page so there are no hurt feelings or unmet expectations. If this is an experience you'd like to explore, here's a list of guidelines to follow that I've culled from the film, and then added a few from my own personal arsenal.
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|ESCORE SERVICE CHEAP SEX BRISBANE||It's never been this easy. Their failures were contrived by a group of writers who probably harbor the same little grain of regressive conservative thinking that most people in this country do when it comes to the idea of women having sex. Another extremely vital component of your physical presence is your clothing. The whole thing can take less than 5 minutes. It is obvious from that sentence, that the author is butt-hurt about a guy Plus, no well-groomed guy is going to look like they lack in self-esteem. If they ask, say that you picked up the habit in college!|
|SEX ENCOUNTERS THE ADVOCATE ADULT SERVICES||I am discreet, I am safe. The complaint is that women are stigmatized and men are not. Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline. Don't ghost, don't say anything rude, and treat the girl with respect. Rules reguarding alcohol I'm a believer that for some alcohol is certainly liquid courage.|
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Even if you're seeking a committed relationship, casual sex is likely to happen along the way. Some people can emotionally handle casual sex and others can't. Still others tell themselves they can handle it, but are really sabotaging their search for something more meaningful.
It's understandable why many singles don't want to give up sex entirely while looking for "The One" -- after all, that might take awhile. But there is no escaping the fact that sex complicates things. For many of us it complicates things a lot. If you are seeking a committed relationship, sex can be especially complicated. Too often we expect that sex means the same thing to us and our partners, and this is not always the case.
Here's my four part test to determine if casual sex is a bad idea for you. Before you sleep with that guy you're not in a relationship with, ask yourself: If I never hear from this person again, will I be OK with that? A surefire way to know if you're being honest with yourself about your expectations when it comes to casual sex is to answer this crucial question. If your answer is 'yes,' then you're in the clear emotionally. You are able to separate the act of sex with a deeper emotional attachment.
If your answer is no, don't do it! You are clearly hoping for something more than this person might be able or willing to give you. Engaging in sex with someone you're not in a relationship with is a gamble, and you shouldn't gamble unless you can afford to lose. One likely scenario is you are hoping that your casual relationship might turn into something more serious. This is not unheard of, but going into it wishing and hoping for that is a bad strategy. You must learn to listen to what people tell you - and if their words and or actions are telling you they want to keep it casual -- believe them.
If the sex in question is with a friend or someone else who is likely going to be a continued presence in your life, modify this question to say: If this person tells me they are no longer willing or available to have sex with me, will I be OK with that? The same principle applies - if your friend with benefits falls in love with someone else next week, how will that make you feel?
If it would make you feel badly, then you are more attached than you have admitted to yourself. Am I able to communicate honestly with this person? I was recently asked by a woman if it was OK to ask a guy if he was sleeping with anyone else before she had sex with him. I often hear women say they don't want to ask if the relationship is going anywhere before sex for fear of "scaring him off". If asking that question scares a guy off, he is doing you a favor.
Better you find out now then after you have slept with him and your feelings are even more pronounced. You owe it to yourself and to your partner to find out if you're on the same page. The right man for you won't be deterred by your honest desire to have a relationship - he'll be psyched! If you feel uncomfortable asking about a potential partner's sexual activity, the status of your relationship, or communicating any boundaries or preferences you have, do not do it.
Sex doesn't have to mean everything, but it is an intimate act that can have serious, life-changing consequences no matter how safe you endeavor to be. You deserve the self-respect to make sure that your sexual partners respect you enough to make you feel heard and respected.
If you can't honestly communicate with this person and you're still willing to have sex with them, it could be a sign of a bigger self-esteem issue that is holding you back from the love you are seeking. Am I able to practice safe sex with this person?
Even with all of the education we have in this day and age about STDs, to say nothing of pregnancy, unprotected sex is still the norm for many. If you are about to engage in sex with someone who refuses to use protection, do not do it! The site incorporates seven ways to discover others, the most useful of which is with standard or advanced searches done by who's online, by city, by new users, by contacts, and by favorites. Finally, there's a handy alert section at the top notifying you of any relevant activity, ensuring you never miss a chance for interaction.
Check out Plenty Of Fish. You can thank Tinder for the increased flexibility of your thumb muscle along with the cultural-wide phenomenon of swiping to meet others. The casual hookup app is excessively straightforward and easy to use.
In fact, it's so simplistic there are really only a few things you can do on it, including updating your profile, swiping left to pass or right to like , and chatting with matches. As is only fitting for a swipe-based dating app, profiles are minimal, focusing mainly on profile pictures with a brief area for text, but they do allow you to connect social accounts if desired.
There's really only one path to finding others on the site: The main section of the site, the swiping section, allows you to swipe yay or nay on profiles extremely quickly, with most users only looking at the main profile picture before swiping one way or the other. Communication can only take place once both members like each other, at which time either match may initiate a conversation. In true hookup app fashion, you're shown pictures of those in your vicinity, which makes it quick and easy to find someone and meet up that very same night.
If you're strictly looking for a hookup app, it's always best to prioritize your privacy, and Pure does just that. The free app, designed to facilitate casual flings, erases your profile every hour — although you can easily restore it. The app is basically a geo-location-based online personals app that allows you to list yourself to other local singles for minute periods and see who you match up with. If you mutually match, you can strike up a quick chat with the matching user but be sure to exchange contact information quickly, as after your hour is up you'll lose contact on the app with that user.
The 1-hour maximum self-destructing profiles and quick chats greatly encourage on-the-spot sexual encounters. Unlike other dating platforms that backhandedly want users to stay single so they continue to use, and in some cases pay for, the site, Pure does not encourage users to stay in the digital realm any longer than required.
Plus you get the bonuses of extreme anonymity and above average data security so you can easily meet up for a night of passion without leaving a digital footprint. While free dating sites can be tempting, they don't always provide the best value for your time. Free sites are often simply not designed to work as well as paid dating sites and furthermore are less regulated.
This means you end up with more scammers on the site, since most don't require any sort of formal validation of your profile, as well as bots and other less than realistic features. Worse yet, if you're on a free dating site you're more likely to find yourself victim to catfishing than on paid sites, meaning your time on these sites can easily be wasted. Fake profiles are just a fact of life on free dating sites, as well as an increased number of individuals on the sites that are only there to cause harm.
This means you end up having to be extra cautious of those you meet and extra careful about your identify and safety. As an alternative, there are paid dating sites that are well worth the extra expense per month to ensure you get the most out of your online dating experience.
Zoosk attracts a massive amount of online daters and for good reason: The site is aesthetically pleasing, meaning it's actual enjoyable to be on whether on the desktop or app version, and it looks brand new, even though it was launched nearly a decade ago. It has a simple and easy signup process that gets you online and interacting with others after just a 3-step registration process.
It's a site you won't easily grow bored of and with a unique insights feature allows you to become a better dater overall. Year after year remaining an industry leader in online dating Match has just the right balance of features and members to keep making love connections happen.
Although it's easy to assume match is only for serious daters, it's actually an online dating site for anyone looking for anything from marriage to one-night stands. The site has a continually evolving matching algorithm that simply helps you find those you are interested in, even if you yourself are a little unsure of who exactly that is.
The site has an extensive amount of search options and ways to discover others, including a hot or not like game and it's newly launched geo-location feature so you can see others who have crossed your path. Match is such a household name and has created so many successful encounters, it's really not taboo to be on the site anymore and is often the next practical step for those looking to explore their paid dating options. If hookups are what you're looking for but you're sick of dealing with unreliable people and free hookup apps, FriendFinder-X is your best bet in the world of casual online dating.
The self-proclaimed dating site claims to be the world's largest site for casual dating and is filled with an abundance of features that give you plenty of options in everything from the way you discover others and interact, to the way you design your profile.
The site has a rating system incorporated into many aspects that ranks members but hotness, which provides some insight into what the purpose of the site is. You can rest assured that everyone on the site is there for the same reasons, which is something free dating sites don't always provide. The site has built in broadcast options to make cyber sex even easier, and the unique ability to search members by their sexual interests.
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